June 2, 2009:
"Dear Sweets,Not many new developments here..I suspect Duff is organizing a big volley to try to get me to sell..I figure,if his bottom line is signing over the mountain & he wants money for this place,it is just a matter of figuring out if I can manage..Duff went over all of my private financial papers while I was gone..Dug up some "amo" for his assertion that I was "desperate" to find a sugar Daddy....Being in his head must suck..Weather here just great..I really am okay..I will be lonely,but franky my biggest emotion is relief..Every day with Duff I was walking on egg shells..He has so many issues..But,hey,armed with his meal replacement..for renewed sveltness.. his metamucil and his viagra..he should be good to go..Throw in the antidepressants and the occassional binge booze-up...He will be "the man"...Ready for the next fuck up.."
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Expressions of grandmotherly love.
Continuing in the spirit of the Brute Family tradition started when, upon hearing of my impending arrival, the ultra Christian G-Ma announced: "I suppose it's too late for an abortion".
Mother Brute's response upon receipt of an email containing the ultrasound image of the first Brute grandchild at 19 weeks:
"Dear Sweets, Good luck!...........................................................................
....................................................................................All my love,Muvs..& Duff,too"
Mother Brute's response upon receipt of an email containing the ultrasound image of the first Brute grandchild at 19 weeks:
"Dear Sweets, Good luck!...........................................................................
....................................................................................All my love,Muvs..& Duff,too"
Monday, March 30, 2009
I feel it's going to be one of those days.
Awoke at fuck-knows-what time am by poor RW's tragic dry smoker-esque cough.
Left bed at 5:50ish to release whippets and found two Jackson-Pollack-style shit-sprays decorating the floor of their bedroom.
Spent 15 minutes cleaning half-dried shit-sprays off floor on hands and knees trying not to add vomit to the mix.
Walk whippets trying to decipher who was the guilty party. Decision: most likely the Stinky One. Feel only partly guilty for assuming it was the artistic stylings of the Dumb One.
Arrive at work. 30 minutes later observe small children outside carrying placards and picket signs. Appear to be protesting possible relocation of local Parole Board office to my building. God bless baby NIMBY's and their giant-stroller-welding, neighbourhood-gentrifying, hipster parents.
Presently watching camera crew set up outside. Appear amateur in handling of tripod. Subsequently less impressed. Am impressed normally very lazy security just kicked them out of parking lot and onto sidewalk.
Further updates as exciting events warrant.
Left bed at 5:50ish to release whippets and found two Jackson-Pollack-style shit-sprays decorating the floor of their bedroom.
Spent 15 minutes cleaning half-dried shit-sprays off floor on hands and knees trying not to add vomit to the mix.
Walk whippets trying to decipher who was the guilty party. Decision: most likely the Stinky One. Feel only partly guilty for assuming it was the artistic stylings of the Dumb One.
Arrive at work. 30 minutes later observe small children outside carrying placards and picket signs. Appear to be protesting possible relocation of local Parole Board office to my building. God bless baby NIMBY's and their giant-stroller-welding, neighbourhood-gentrifying, hipster parents.
Presently watching camera crew set up outside. Appear amateur in handling of tripod. Subsequently less impressed. Am impressed normally very lazy security just kicked them out of parking lot and onto sidewalk.
Further updates as exciting events warrant.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Elder abuse.
This is hands-down the best image ever captured of Poppa Brute.
Rocking that morphine drip like there's no tomorrow.
The cred for this post goes out to HF: using his status as a med student to take advantage of drugged-out, hospitalized seniors since 2009.
~A
Rocking that morphine drip like there's no tomorrow.
The cred for this post goes out to HF: using his status as a med student to take advantage of drugged-out, hospitalized seniors since 2009.
~A
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Why I maxed out the Visa to be in Europe this year.
December 20, 2008:
"Dear Kids, Mom was in emerg yesterday for bleeding..rectal..She was examined and sent home with directions to "take it easy" and everything should settle down..Well,today every time she stood up, she started to bleed..So,back in ambulance..Duff and I went in @ 4..She has been admitted..tho is staying in emerg..was checked by Doc and must now see Internist in morning..She is bleeding more tonight and they have started a line to give her blood,if need be..She is talking up a blue streak,looks good and was allowed to have pudding and juice,once they decided she could wait til morning for further follow-up...her blood work was excellent...so she has a long way to go before she needs blood..ANYWAY,this is the easiest way to try to pass on info..I'm tired and heading to bed...I have the feeling this may be a long "holiday"..for all of us!My love to all...Muvs"
Later that day:
"Dear A, Just spoke with RN on 3 Centre @ Jubilee ..Grandma had scope with results that she has a bleeding diverticuli in a "too difficult to cauterize spot"..Her hgb. is still 11.9..So,they hope with IV's only, it may "settle down"and she may stop bleeding....If her hgb goes closer to 9,they will give her a unit of blood..We are expecting MORE snow etc here with high winds..It looks pretty bad right now out here....Gr. must be okay because she was "COMPLAINING" about how long everything was taking..!! She has had GREAT care..If I had her for a patient,I'd tell her to put a "sock in it!"...Don't worry,she is fine..Spoke with H..He is @ airport,waiting for G's delayed flight..I love you buckets..Hope you arrived safely.....Much love,Muvs"
January 7, 2009:
8:31 AM H: hey! Long time no chat!
me: no doubt, how's things?
8:32 AM H: meh. Not bad. The office placement is going pretty well. Holidays were very weird w/o you. Next year I think we need to do the cabin thing. how was Holland?
8:36 AM H: Wanted beat GMa to death with her own shoe. It was the worst I've ever seen her. And mom proceeded to get blitzed and leave the rest of us to deal w/ her. There will be some serious kharma to make up for that one. I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed yourself.
8:38 AM me: oh it was great believe me, i told G that you guys definitely need to hit Berlin, very interesting place but f-ing cold in the winter, I froze my ass off in Europe... mom told me she got shittered, nice way to handle things especially in front of your alcoholic hubby
8:40 AM H: true story. He's gonna have another break soon and she'll have no insight into her own role in that. They're already unhappy again. I give it 2 years max....
"Dear Kids, Mom was in emerg yesterday for bleeding..rectal..She was examined and sent home with directions to "take it easy" and everything should settle down..Well,today every time she stood up, she started to bleed..So,back in ambulance..Duff and I went in @ 4..She has been admitted..tho is staying in emerg..was checked by Doc and must now see Internist in morning..She is bleeding more tonight and they have started a line to give her blood,if need be..She is talking up a blue streak,looks good and was allowed to have pudding and juice,once they decided she could wait til morning for further follow-up...her blood work was excellent...so she has a long way to go before she needs blood..ANYWAY,this is the easiest way to try to pass on info..I'm tired and heading to bed...I have the feeling this may be a long "holiday"..for all of us!My love to all...Muvs"
Later that day:
"Dear A, Just spoke with RN on 3 Centre @ Jubilee ..Grandma had scope with results that she has a bleeding diverticuli in a "too difficult to cauterize spot"..Her hgb. is still 11.9..So,they hope with IV's only, it may "settle down"and she may stop bleeding....If her hgb goes closer to 9,they will give her a unit of blood..We are expecting MORE snow etc here with high winds..It looks pretty bad right now out here....Gr. must be okay because she was "COMPLAINING" about how long everything was taking..!! She has had GREAT care..If I had her for a patient,I'd tell her to put a "sock in it!"...Don't worry,she is fine..Spoke with H..He is @ airport,waiting for G's delayed flight..I love you buckets..Hope you arrived safely.....Much love,Muvs"
January 7, 2009:
8:31 AM H: hey! Long time no chat!
me: no doubt, how's things?
8:32 AM H: meh. Not bad. The office placement is going pretty well. Holidays were very weird w/o you. Next year I think we need to do the cabin thing. how was Holland?
8:36 AM H: Wanted beat GMa to death with her own shoe. It was the worst I've ever seen her. And mom proceeded to get blitzed and leave the rest of us to deal w/ her. There will be some serious kharma to make up for that one. I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed yourself.
8:38 AM me: oh it was great believe me, i told G that you guys definitely need to hit Berlin, very interesting place but f-ing cold in the winter, I froze my ass off in Europe... mom told me she got shittered, nice way to handle things especially in front of your alcoholic hubby
8:40 AM H: true story. He's gonna have another break soon and she'll have no insight into her own role in that. They're already unhappy again. I give it 2 years max....
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Oh Canada, I mourn for thee.
Removed by author due to concerns of a certain B about me being fired for disclosing cabinet confidences.
Man, how the fuck else am I gonna get out of this place?
And the wheels fell off.
September 6, 2008
"Dear Kids,It is now 6..Duff is still passed out sleeping off his binge..I've spoken with his son..(Duff apparently phoned him this morning)..M told me his Dad is an alcoholic..recent....I'm leaving for D's in the next 15 min..I'm fine..It is impossible to talk with him since he is still drunk..I'll leave him a note and come back Sunday,when he is sober..I have taken ALL booze with me ..even the vanilla ext!...Don't worry..I'll be fine..Lots of love, Muvs"
"Dear Kids,It is now 6..Duff is still passed out sleeping off his binge..I've spoken with his son..(Duff apparently phoned him this morning)..M told me his Dad is an alcoholic..recent....I'm leaving for D's in the next 15 min..I'm fine..It is impossible to talk with him since he is still drunk..I'll leave him a note and come back Sunday,when he is sober..I have taken ALL booze with me ..even the vanilla ext!...Don't worry..I'll be fine..Lots of love, Muvs"
Friday, August 22, 2008
Well, what the hell did you get him?
Somehow this list of birthday gifts I just ordered for Father seems to capture my relationship with him pretty accurately. Therapy, pshaw, who needs therapy?
Note delivery estimate. I feel that yet another "the gift is in the mail" birthday phone calls is coming.
Delivery estimate: Aug 29 2008 - Sep 4 2008
Shipping estimate for these items: Aug 25 2008
1. "Scotch Wall Calendar 2009"Inc. Workman Publishing Company; Calendar; CDN$ 10.94
2. "Retiring in France, 2nd Edition"David Hampshire; Paperback; CDN$ 16.75
3. "Fleet Foxes"Fleet Foxes; Audio CD; CDN$ 14.99
Shopping motivated by Super Saver Shipping. Thanks Amazon!
Note delivery estimate. I feel that yet another "the gift is in the mail" birthday phone calls is coming.
Delivery estimate: Aug 29 2008 - Sep 4 2008
Shipping estimate for these items: Aug 25 2008
1. "Scotch Wall Calendar 2009"Inc. Workman Publishing Company; Calendar; CDN$ 10.94
2. "Retiring in France, 2nd Edition"David Hampshire; Paperback; CDN$ 16.75
3. "Fleet Foxes"Fleet Foxes; Audio CD; CDN$ 14.99
Shopping motivated by Super Saver Shipping. Thanks Amazon!
Thursday, August 7, 2008
One picture, too many words.
"On behalf of the Laboratory and Bureau staff, I would like to thank you and your colleagues for taking time out of your busy schedules, to visit and tour our laboratory facilities. As a memento, please find attached a picture that was taken at the Laboratory."
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Exploring the limitations of MS Word
So clearly I have a little time on my hands and, not wanting to let my brain turn completely into mush, I decided to improve my mad Word skillz. Since nothing is more mentally taxing than trying to map out the Brute Family Tree I thought I'd play around and see what I could do.
It wasn't much.
Apparently the diagram functions in Word lack the flexibility to address post-modern familial relationships such as: 'the biological children of one's Mother's forth husband from his first marriage', or 'the adoptive daughter of one's adoptive father from his first marriage'. However, 'the bastard child of a confirmed bachelor elderly logger' fits just fine.
I wonder if the Help section covers this topic?
It wasn't much.
Apparently the diagram functions in Word lack the flexibility to address post-modern familial relationships such as: 'the biological children of one's Mother's forth husband from his first marriage', or 'the adoptive daughter of one's adoptive father from his first marriage'. However, 'the bastard child of a confirmed bachelor elderly logger' fits just fine.
I wonder if the Help section covers this topic?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
